It’s not breaking news that money is one of the biggest causes of marital strife. An article by author Ron Leiber of the New York Times in 2009 says the odds of a marriage ending in divorce due to finances is approximately 45 percent.
We counsel married couples all the time and after years of doing our own research, we’ve come to our own conclusion—while money obviously causes problems, it’s not all about the dolla dolla billz, ya’ll (Sorry, I couldn’t resist).
When we get married, we enter into a covenant where we are no longer identified as single beings. We are now one with our spouse and with God. Three-in-one. Separate bank accounts still give the idea that there is your money and my money instead of our money.
Couples should desire to be open and honest with each other and willing to share the most intimate and prized pieces of their lives, including their bank accounts. If you and your spouse have individual bank accounts, take a few minutes to answer some of these questions.
- If you are really making wise financial decisions, why don’t you want your spouse to have access to your account?
- Do you trust that your spouse is making wise financial decisions? If not, have you confronted him or her with the issue?
- Do you feel an unhealthy connection to money, a powerful need to keep it all under your own watchful eye?
We won’t go into detail about all those questions but by answering them, you probably felt a little uncomfortable and maybe even a little convicted. Don’t worry, we all have issues, especially when it comes with such a sensitive topic as money. But let’s get real for a second.
We’ve heard Genesis 2:25 dozens of time, either at wedding or during a church service.
“Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
For some reason, we like to skip over that “one flesh” part, thinking it only applies to certain parts (uh huh) of marriage.
But when you say “I do” to your spouse, you’re all in. All of you. Everything you own. Everything you do. Everything you buy. Holding anything back from your spouse, especially money, just isn’t ok. It’s asking for trouble and kicking open the door for the enemy to come on inside and cause major marital issues between you and your spouse.
Take our advice and bring your money (all of it, not just some) into the center of your marriage, right along with your relationships with the Lord. When you come together before the Lord and submit ALL you have unto Him, you will be amazed and what He can and will do with what you have and more importantly, between you and your spouse.